Sorry to be so blunt but Valentine’s Day, the movie, is bad, and on so many levels. (Warning, some plot spoilers follow.)
Perhaps it’s because I took my almost-high school age daughter and her friend to see it, but its message of immorality is blatant. Love, real love, is a tangential topic.
Several couples are not married. That’s not unusual, of course. But the unmarrieds have to be shown in bed together in the morning. Unfortunately, that’s not unusual either. I know I’m behind the times on this issue but that’s where I am and where I’m staying.
Worse, one of the unmarrieds is, unknown to his “special lady,” married to another “special lady” who does not know she is one of two.
One of the singles in search of “love” is an “adult phone entertainer.” We have to be subjected to some of her conversations with her clients. It’s probably considered tame stuff for those who call such places. But it’s terribly upsetting when your daughter is with you. She even suggested leaving but I was holding out hope for the rest of the movie (mistake) and I didn’t want to cut short her time out with her friend.
In the morality of Hollywood we are told through this character that 1. It’s wrong to judge what she does; and 2. Where else is she going to make so much money? I dunno, a thousand other jobs, one of which the writers could have used?
Then there is the troubled pro football player searching for meaning in his life on Valentine’s Day. You don’t need to see the script to know where this story line is going.
The movie continues its joke on love till the end. As the DJ, whose voiceover we have heard from time to time through the movie, concludes: “We all long for those three words. (Expecting to hear ‘I love you,’ he instead says) Let’s get naked.”
But even if the movie was a great morality play, it was still a lousy movie. It’s not fair to say the director and actors phoned it in. They didn’t work that hard. Texted it in would be more accurate.
There was even the classic goof of showing the overhead boom mic in one shot. And it was an inconsequential moment that could have easily been cut.
Maybe the worst part about this project is the way it was promoted. The cute clips stitched together for the promo ads, and the PG-13 rating, gave the impression that this is just a fun movie about people longing for love. In reality, it’s a moral and professional insult.
